How to Have a Successful Christian Marriage

Along with modernization and technological advancements in civilization has come a certain level of disregard for age-old institutions, with marriage being a prime example. The sacred union has now become a tool used by people to change their social status rather than a means to continue a legacy started by God himself. The rapid increase in the cases of divorce in our society today is a testament to this fact.

Even ‘Christian Marriages’ are not left out of the decadence. Those who choose to remain with their spouses, often do so to the detriment of their happiness and safety in some cases. Unhappiness, molestation, and domestic violence seem to be the hallmarks of many modern marriages today.

So, where are we getting it wrong? What exactly are the few successful marriages doing that the other vast majority are not?

To get answers to these questions, we’ll have to go back to the originator of marriage himself; God. With so many misconceptions about marriage flying around these days, it’s easy to forget that God was the originator of marriage. In fact, marriage was the first institution he created after the creation of the Earth and every living thing (Gen 2:24-25).

Marriage is important to God. This is why the New Testament constantly describes our relationship with Jesus as a marital one. The marriage of the Lamb (Rev 19:6-9) quickly comes to mind here.

So if marriage is important to God, it means that we cannot do it successfully without following God’s established principles. Most people who have been enjoying happy marriages will testify to the fact that the principles working for them are those taken directly from the Bible. In this article, we will be taking a look at these biblical principles on marriage and why marriage and faith should not be separated.

God designed marriage to be enjoyed and not endured. His word is full of ways through which we can make our marriages longlasting and fun!
Having said that, here are some principles you can apply to make your marriage a heaven-on-earth experience:

Count the Cost

“Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it?”

Luke 14:28 New International Version (NIV)

This is a direct instruction from God concerning every aspect of our lives including our marriages. It is amazing to see people put plans in place to ensure the success of their wedding ceremony while the marriage itself is left unattended to.

Most people – including Christians – go into marriages without a clear cut picture of what they want their future lives to look like. This lack of planning and foresight is responsible for the failure of many marriages.
Marriage is a lifetime commitment. You will be setting yourself up for disappointment and heartache if you go into it without a clear-cut plan. If you’re not yet married, then now is the time to start planning for your marital journey. However, if you are already married, you can still begin a rebuilding process that will change the course of your marital future.

Love your spouse the way God loves you

God’s love for us is unconditional. God loved us even before we knew him. His disposition towards us does not change even when we are at our worst. This is why He could release Jesus Christ, his only son, to die for us all even while we were yet sinners.

In the same way, you can be able to tolerate the excesses of your spouse if you love him/her the way God chose to love us. It’s a very hard thing to do if we are honest with ourselves, but with the help of the Holy Ghost, it becomes possible. Even the most successful marriages encounter some difficulties along the way. But it is this “God-kind” of love that gets them through it. It works all the time!

Imagine a situation where two people are earnestly trying to love each other even in tough situations where it’s hard to like each other. It results in harmony and relational bonding that provides a blueprint for future situations.

Never separate your marriage from your faith

“For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.”

Ephesians 5:23 New International Version (NIV)


Marriage is another avenue through which we can express our faith in God by making him our final authority. This will cut all selfish tendencies that have ruined many marriages in the past. Your marriage won’t be built on personal agendas but on what God wants and has instructed. Marriage and faith are inseparable!

Forgive in advance

The covenant of marriage thrives on forgiveness. Your marriage will never stand the test of time if you don’t develop the habit of forgiving your spouse even before he or she hurts you. Marriage cannot exist without offense. At some point, your partner will hurt you. By preparing for this possibility, you make it easy for you to forgive him/her and eventually, reduce your hurt and bitterness.

Remember, the bible said in 1 Peter 3:7, “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” Wives should also take a cue from this.

Continue your courtship in marriage

This is probably what kills most marriages, even Christian ones. Years of marital engagement can lead to a level of familiarity that stops partners from doing their best to please each other. To the best of your ability, strive to avoid getting to a point where your partner becomes just another ‘person’ in your house. Treat them with respect. Love them as Christ has commanded because it is a privilege to have them in your life and not a right!

Enjoy sex as God intended

Many people shy away from discussing this topic but it is an important part of marriage. There have been cases of ‘sex-starved’ individuals being forced into adultery out of their own will. God created sex and he intended that we enjoy it as a process of procreation. Sexually satisfying your partner is a righteous act and you must ensure that you give your best at all times.
Do not be too busy or too spiritual to do needful things. Sex within the context of marriage is a righteous act, so do it to the best of your ability.

Pray always

Don’t stop asking the Holy Spirit to take charge of your marriage. Pray always and try to involve your spouse as often as you can. A family that prays together stays together. Make the Holy Spirit your ally, and you’ll never be alone in your marriage (Matthew 18:20). Make your spouse your prayer partner!!!

Conclusion

These are just a few proven biblical principles that will help you build a strong Christian marriage and continue to grow with your spouse in love and faith. May God forever bless your holy matrimony.

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